DJ Bonk is a minor character in Just Like A Movie. Nevertheless, I figured he needed a rap poem to introduce himself and explain a couple of things! Also, I wanted to have a little fun, get a little funky, you know what I’m sayin’?

DJ BONK’ S RAP

 

I’m DJ Bonk and I’m mighty cool

They say I was the very hottest boy in school.

My grades were crap, but not my tunes,

I started getting funky in my mother’s womb!

 

When I was a small boy I poopooed cars,

No Hot Wheels or Matchbox junk in my back yard.

Mama’s funky records - yo! - they were my jam,

She swears I boogied in my pram!

 

My teenage years they were formative (Yo!)

Back in Viareggio where I lived.

Down on the beach I improvised,

With my breaks and beats I tantalized.

 

Bikini girls they adored my groove,

They hung ‘round me and totally snubbed their dudes! (Yo!)

They made requests for cheesy slows,

For Christopher Cross and Barry Manilow (No!)

 

I’d cue those tunes, I’d make a mix, (Yo!)

I’d let them roll, dance with the hottest chicks.

I’d take them home, we’d be fooling around, (Yo!)

Those beach parties were my playground! (Yeah!)

 

They call me Bonk, the very best, (Yo!)

Those pretty ladies were always dead impressed!

I played in clubs right around the world,

And bonked me several hundreds of gorgeous girls!

 

But then one day I met Kirsten,

That mega hottie once was Miss Sweden.

The reigning Queen of Ibiza,

The White Isle’s “It girl” and diva (Whoa!)

 

Head over heels I fell for her (Yeah!)

At Pacha during Flower Power.

That magic night, well it was something else,

I think she must have used some wicked Kirsten spell! (Yo!)

 

Unfortunately, I soon got sick

With a really bad infection on my twinkie wink.

My rude old piercing got badly inflamed, (No!)

So, I fled Ibiza feeling most ashamed.

 

A Hamburg doctor finally fixed my dong,

Sing Hallelujah cuz - holy smoke - the pong!

But Kirsten threw the most almighty fit,

Calling me a two-timing randy git! (No!)

 

So now I hope to make amends,

With Gemma and Emilio’s funky help! (Yo!)

I’m DJ Bonk from sunny Italy,

And I’m gonna ask that girl to frickin’ marry me! (Yo!)