I spent the weekend at my friend’s,

She has a double bed!

We whispered late into the night

About things they might have said.

Who’s they you ask?

Well, it depends, we two are rather fickle,

Last month I crushed on Jamie Crew but then he got a pimple.

My friend she once liked Wolfgang Sprout

Until he liked me more.

The problem was he left me cold; he really was a bore.

We both agreed that Jim was cute, if only he’d grow tall.

As for Bob, to me he was the hottest of them all!

 

My friend and I are older now

We no longer need to whisper,

We stay up late with herbal tea

And giggle acapella.

Jamie Crew and Wolfgang Sprout?

We saw them recently!

Jamie Crew’s got wrinkles now,

No pimples, just a belly.

As for boring Wolfgang Sprout

He turned out rather well!

He worked in finance in New York

And rang some famous bell.

Bob is still a gorgeous guy

He’s kind and quiet and lovely,

He worked in pharmaceuticals,

On drugs that fix bad tummies.

 

My friend and I will never know

If those boys used to whisper

About us late into the night,

Wishing they were braver.