Or The Week My Father’s Future Looked Orange!

“Mamma mia, Sylvia dear!

Come quickly, I’m over here!

I don’t know what’s going on,

One thing’s for sure, there’s something wrong.”

 

“My hands are now a funny colour,

Maybe I should call my mother.

Look at this, it’s really strange,

My palms have turned a bright orange!”

 

“I washed them many times and yet,

The brownish orange seems to stick.

A pumice stone would make them sore,

I don’t know what to do anymore!”

 

“Good morning doctor, it’s so strange

Look, my palms are bright orange!”

The doctor gasped, “Oh goodness me,

You must have some foreign disease!”

 

Doc went on, “Sit down, Monsieur,

I’ll have to take your temperature.

I’ve never heard of orange palms,

I’ll call my colleagues, ask around.”

 

“I’ll take a swab, alert the lab,

Let’s hope this disease isn’t bad.

Meanwhile I suggest you go to bed,

And hope the colour doesn’t spread.”

 

Stay quiet, drink fluids and get some rest,

I don’t know what else to suggest.

I’ll be in touch, I’ll let you know,

But as it’s summer, labs can be slow.”

 

“Mamma Mia, it looks like shit,

I do not like this crap one bit.

I’ll put some cream, I’m sure it’s good,

It’s used by stars in Hollywood.”

 

“I’ll go to bed and sleep soundly,

To rid myself of this disease.

Sylvia, please, I don’t feel well,

This disease ees terreebell!”

 

“My husband snored the whole night through,

Yet morning brought no better news.”

“Dear me, my palms are getting worse,

Madonna Santa, I have a curse!”

  

“More cream I must quickly put on,

That Hollywood one, I know it’s strong.

I’ll rub lots in, I will be fine,

And forget about it with some wine.”

 

The problem only got much worse,

Now orange everywhere dispersed!

When he next looked a few hours later,

What did he seee? An Oompa-Loompa!

 

Our daughter walked past the bathroom,

She had gone out to ballet school.

“Oh finally, there’s my fake tan,

Papa, you stole it, you naughty man!”

 

“That cream is good, but be aware,

If you apply it, you must take care.

Wash your hands immediately,

If not you’ll look like such a freak!”

 

“But don’t apply it everyday,

Cuz if you do, you’ll look quite strange.”

“Madonna Santa, but of course!”

We laughed until we all were hoarse!