VOWELS AND PLUM PUDDING

Twinkling a gin and tonic,

His jowls deformed by decades of vowels,

Sir Edgar Broadwick regularly doused his guests

In endless, plum pudding-laced

Life lectures.

So, imagine the hoots of laughter

Echoing through stately homes

When, two years ago, in the springtime,

Both his cheekbones imploded

From the effort of holding his own against

The Duke of Marbles’ second cousin’s best friend,

A man whose legendary jowl control

Had already caused considerable cheek carnage

Among the upper crust.

Epilogue:

Despite several surgeries and the online services of a world-famous voice coach operating out of Bondi Beach, Edgar never recovered the posh vowels of his youth, and eventually emigrated to Australia where he met the heiress to one of the biggest cattle ranches in Queensland and married her. He takes pride in the fact that his sliding jaw matches his sliding stops. Yeeha!

Now that’s better, isn’t it!

 My poetry book, ILLICIT CROISSANTS AT DAWN, will be available at the end of April. Stay tuned!

If you enjoy my sense of humour you will surely enjoy my romantic comedy, JUST LIKE A MOVIE, available on all the Amazons.