Well, hello there my dear

How’ve you been? What’s your news?

You’re looking amazing;

I do love those shoes!

 

Have you seen your friend Thingy?

Are you two still tight?

As much as I love her,

She can’t be that bright.

 

Thingy said things about you

I shouldn’t repeat

But I’m sure you’re aware

She’s a bit of a freak.

 

In a nutshell that nutter

Spouted this and then that.

I’m telling you this

Just to give you the facts.

 

Of course, I ignored her,

Gossip isn’t my style!

I find her behaviour

Utterly infantile.

 

She’s so boorish, so stuck-up,

So heartless and crass.

But don’t let her upset you,

She’s just a spoilt brat.

 

Well, I guess I should go now,

I’ve so much to do!

But please don’t tell Thingy

The things I’ve told you.

Buy me a Mince Pie?