TWAS THE MESS BEFORE CHRISTMAS (and where are my elves?)

I need to get cracking,

Must tidy my mess,

My husband is coming

I’ve shit to address!

The house isn’t dirty

No, I’ve not been a pig!

I just get distracted

By creative gigs.

My crochet is sprawled out

She’s a diva, I swear,

Three years after appearing

She’s still not quite there.

As for books, well God help me,

They’ve a life of their own!

More and more keep appearing,

It’s a mystery untold.

My laptop has helpers.

Well, doesn’t Santa have elves?

I have notebooks and biscuits,

A teapot, good pens.

Yes, the bedroom needs sorting,

My clothes chair’s piled high.

The TV’s a clotheshorse

For damp stuff to dry…

And it’s Christmas, have you noticed?

I have presents to wrap.

But they won’t wrap themselves,

So come on now, snip snap!

Because tomorrow he’ll be here.

No, not Santa! Get real!

The cutie I married,

The neat freak of my dreams!

(Or buy my funny book! Just click on the image… If you’re not in the UK, it’s available on all the Amazons!)