WARM SMELL OF COLITIS…

There is a man I go and see,

Who’s a magician, if you ask me.

He’s funny too, a bit cheeky,

He always tells me, “don’t worry”.

This man’s a doctor, he’s Chinese,

I’ve seen him lots these past few years.

Of all the doctors I’ve approached,

He’s the one who’s helped the most.

Recently I’ve been quite sick

My intestines have been shit.

My disease is in a flair,

Warm smell of colitis in the air…

At a loss, I couldn’t eat,

Nothing stayed down; I felt so weak.

Doctor Dong said, “Don’t worry.

I’ll make you better, you will see.”

I must admit, I’d lost all faith,

I’d been careful with what I ate.

Dong stuck needles right and left,

In my feet, belly and head!

Then he gave me Chinese herbs,

Some brown powder like dried turds!

It wasn’t bad, I drank it fast,

And hallelujah, no more cak!

I’ve got to take it for two weeks,

Twice a day, before I eat.

Once again, Dong’s my main man,

I really am his biggest fan.

 (n.b: thank you to Carolien Mann for inspiring the warm smell of colitis line! Brill!)