What’s your favourite chocolate bar?

Is it Bounty, Snickers, Kitkat, Mars?

What about a Branche Cailler?

Do they sell those over where you live?

 

Do you like the cheaper chocs, from Supermarkets,

Regular stuff.

Or do you prefer your chocolate chichi,

From chocolatiers with cool boutiques?

 

Those artisanal bars, all rough and lumpy,

Sold by weight with ceremonial.

Pretty shopgirls all dressed up,

Will coax you into buying more.

 

Are pralines your thing?

Those tiny bites,

With fancy fillings

That surprise.

 

What about a Toblerone?

Those things are yummy, don’t you think?

Yet eating them can be quite hard,

The bigger ones can bruise your gums!

 

Lindor balls, the scoundrel classic

Once you’ve eaten one you’ve had it!

The entire box will be scoffed down,

In absent-minded yum yum yum.

 

I have a thing for dark black Lindt,

With sea-salt, ooh that stuff’s deadly,

I’ll pop a piece into my mouth,

And let it melt, then have some more!

 

Actually, I really shouldn’t.

Chocolate doesn’t help my tummy.

Lactose is my sworn enemy

But sometimes I just can’t resist.

 

The Easter Bunny is a creep,

With Christmas over along he hops,

He crams the shelves with deadly stuff,

That spikes our glucose, wrecks our teeth.

  

Anyway, I’d better go,

Write something serious, my novel,

I went to Dong for more pick-picks,

And fell asleep for over an hour!

 

Dong woke me up by pulling out (NB: Valerie B you have a filthy mind!)

Those needles up and down my back,

He did some cupping for my neck,

Then sent me on my merry way.