CURRANT AFFAIRS

I have a problem by my pool,

Caused by rampant rabbit stool.

Those monkeys picked the perfect spot

And labelled it their chamber pot!

They marked it out, nibbled it bare

Then spread their currants everywhere.

Those sundried droppings are a pain,

They go all mushy in the rain.

Those tiny poops beside my pool,

Force me to make a small detour,

Carrying coffee, book and phone,

Who can I call to have a moan?

I need assistance, a pool boy,

Someone to carry all my toys:

My rubber ring, my floating weights,

Bring extra towels for my mates.

I know it sounds like first world woes,

But I get currants in my toes!

It’s just as well that Jimmy Choo

Designed the perfect poolside shoe.

They’re in the mail, they’ll be here soon,

I got the last size 42!

I’m rather proud of having solved,

This currant problem on my own.

I’m no damsel in distress,

This issue will be laid to rest!

I’ll plough right through that rabbit pooh,

Clad in my pooh-proof Jimmy Choos!