There is a show I used to watch,

You’ll probably know it, everyone does.

It’s what they call daytime TV,

A soap opera, the stuff of geeks.

 

I don’t know why I watched that soap

For years and years, I couldn’t stop!

I’d tape it while on holiday,

Then feast for hours on the replays.

 

You couldn’t call at half past six

I wouldn’t talk, I’d get quite pissed!

Top Models Time, that time became

A sacred moment every day.

 

I had some fellow devotees,

Of Ridge and Brooke, Thorne and Macy!

We joked about the silly plots,

Bad storylines and ugly clothes.

 

Thorne and Macy, they also sang,

Real cheesy stuff most of the time.

They went on tour some years ago

And I bought tickets to their show!

 

I know, I know, it’s really sad,

But actually it wasn’t bad!

Whole busloads came from far and wide,

From towns all over Switzerland!

 

From France and Germany ladies came too,

To see their darlings’ Swiss debut!

They sang, they danced, they cheered and clapped

And stamped for encores, holy crap!

 

I bought the tee-shirt (now I’m red!),

An extra-large to wear to bed!

The CD too, oh what a scream!

My kids thought, God, our mama’s weird!

 

Anyway, I thought I’d share

My soapy past in case you care!

These past two years I haven’t watched,

No reason why, it’s just like that.

Maybe one day I’ll feel inclined,

Find Top Models problems on my mind.

Is Brooke with Ridge, is Hope with Bill,

In that big mansion on the hill?