PERKY PACKAGE

(the rear end photo is classified information)

I’m told
My filter sometimes teeters into hullaballoo territory.
 
The Doyenne of Oversharing?
 
Coucou, c’est moi!
 
Are you sitting comfortably? 
Me too because...
 
My rear end recently received
Clandestine bum-implants 
While I was sleeping
And - woopdeedoo - the bouncy stuff came as a box-set
Because I got the matching boobs, too!

This acute awareness of absolute Super-Mega-Boing
Occurred on January 6,
The day my husband and I took down the Christmas Tree.
So, I’m wondering whether I should thank
The Three Kings
For popping in and turning
Secret Santa into Secret Surgery.
 
However, I remain convinced that Caspar and co. 
Got their Regal Knickers in a Twist
As I’ve never sashayed down the bootilicious
Aisle of the lingerie department.
You see,
Less protuberant nether-lands
Are far more suited to my lifestyle and body type.
 
So, if you didn’t receive your perky package,
Rest assured.
It is currently perched
On a blue and yellow cushion
Impatiently waiting to be redespatched 
To its rightful owner.